


Sunshine Smiles in Glacial Waters

by motherfruckerdude



Category: Hooky (Webcomic)
Genre: Angst, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Angst with a Happy Ending, Childhood Trauma, Emotional Baggage, Emotional Hurt, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/M, I'm Bad At Titles, Implied Relationships, Self-Hatred, no beta we die like men, vent fic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-03
Updated: 2020-06-03
Packaged: 2021-03-04 00:54:32
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,949
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24514945
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/motherfruckerdude/pseuds/motherfruckerdude
Summary: Dani after the curse is lifted but like,, 20x as sad bc I'm projecting
Relationships: Monica/Dorian Wytte (Hooky), Nico/Daniela "Dani" Wytte (Hooky)
Comments: 5
Kudos: 36





	Sunshine Smiles in Glacial Waters

**Author's Note:**

> Dani was never the type to openly discuss her feelings. She preferred dealing with any and all problems herself; keeping it in so she didn't worry her brother or friends. 
> 
> But it builds up.

She wished she was still a kid.

3 years of her life had been lost in a whirlwind of magic, tears, and misunderstandings. All she wanted was to go back to before this mess, before she and Dorian missed that stupid bus, when she was still in the calm waters of blissful ignorance. At just twelve years old, she was mercilessly dragged from the warm, soothing pool of naivety and thrust into the freezing whirlpool of reality. Reality spun her about, conflicting itself with all-too understandable yet differing perspectives, drowning her in the truth of the monochrome world she lived in; black and white shifted from expectation to extreme. 

Her thirteen year old soul was lost in the expanse of her sixteen year old body; child-like thoughts and actions sharply contrasted her friends’ mature beings. The trauma, she supposed, at least brought her a little closer to them in that aspect. 

The hardest part for her, if she had to pick one thing, was the fact that she was in no way the only one experiencing this jump in time; her brother, Dorian, had also lost those years, and she shoved the envy she felt deep, deep down. Dorian had adapted to these new circumstances swiftly and gracefully, an almost excessive amount of maturity for a sixteen year old. They were twins, why couldn’t she get over the lost time as he had?

Dani was just… having a difficult time. Sleep was scarce as the memories from her reign of terror presented themselves in her dreams. The elder twin was forced to watch in first-person exactly what she did while cursed, harsh words spat in an icy cold monotone reminiscent of the glacial whirlpool she was still caught in, berating and abusing the one person that stayed by her side. 

Nico had been a light in the dark, still was. He was comforting, dependable, understanding… She didn’t deserve him. Memories of the past three years haunted her every interaction with him, guilt tainting her every word. Worse still, it seemed he was catching on to her underlying feelings of intense sorrow and despair; the very feelings she had buried under a smile and apparent hyperactivity. Nico wasn’t very observant unless it came to Dani, and she shuddered with the thought that he might be so attentive in caution due to her past actions. 

Evidently, Nico wasn’t the only one suspicious of her sunny disposition, as Dani had caught Dorian’s lingering glances on her. She had been steadfastly ignoring the pair’s apprehension, her mask was fooling everybody else, so it didn’t much matter if two people knew. Daniela doubted they would ask her about it to her face, so she stuck to her charade and pushed on. She was wrong.

The girl had heard them, once. Nico and Dorian were discussing her recent behavior and what might be causing it, citing the dark circles under her eyes and the way her hands sometimes shook while talking to them. Dani knew they were going to confront her about it soon, and she didn’t think she’d be able to handle it. 

So when her two best friends had knocked on her door early one morning, a feeling of dread had nearly suffocated her. 

“Dani, we need to talk.” The distinct voice of Nico had called from behind the door.

Pasting a practiced sunshine smile on her face, Daniela ignored the rising anxiety pressing against her lungs and took a deep breath. She opened the door wide, false confidence saturated her demeanor and manifested in a too-large smile and spread arms.

“Hey, guys! What’s up?” Her too loud exclamation came unprompted and eased her into auto-pilot.

“Can we come in?” Dani’s brother asked with a frown. Dorian always had been an open book.

“Duh! Come on in, Monica’s going to be over in around an hour.” She bluffed, throwing a wink at her brother. Dorian instantly flushed and sputtered, making Dani chuckle lightly. 

The middle child felt Nico’s blazing gaze on her face and resolutely ignored it. All three sat and exchanged pleasantries for a short time before Nico initiated the little intervention.

“Dani, we… We came to ask about what’s been bothering you.” The ginger stated, intent stare still on her. 

Daniela’s smile became a little strained. Her brain had stuck on the slight hesitancy in his voice, mistaking concern for fear. Flashes of heated arguing over her three year dark period now in the forefront of her mind. 

“Seriously, guys? That’s what this is all about?” Fake humor laced her words, “I just haven’t been sleeping well lately. Nothing new, and nothing you need to be worrying about!” Her voice was in a firm ‘drop-it’ tone, thinly disguised by lightheartedness. 

Her two favorite people shared a look she was too distracted to decipher. Hurriedly, she stood and started walking to her door, hand on the knob.

“Well boys, if that’s all, I should get ready for Monica-”

“Stop that.” In response to the hard tone, Dani’s hand immediately froze. Unfortunately, her smile dropped for a split second. Forcing herself to turn around, she plastered a stern look on her face, pouty lips and drawn eyebrows, and opted for playing dumb.

“Interrupting me in the middle of my sentence is rude, Nico! And stop what?”

“Just drop the act, Dani. We know something’s been bothering you. Please, just talk to us. We want to help. I- We’ve been worried about you.”

God, she really was a terrible person. How could she have been so awful to her best friend? She was always causing trouble, always getting everybody hurt. At this point she’s not even worth the trouble, yet here he is. Helping his former abuser-

“That. That right there. That’s what we want to hear about.”

“What…?” 

“You get this look in your eyes and space out, then snap right back to ‘Happy, Sunny Dani’ when anyone tries to talk to you! You’re like a rubberband! It’s gonna give me whiplash or something, so just talk to us about it!!” Nico cried, fists clenched and teeth grinding. 

“Dani, we just want to help. Nico and I asked around, and it doesn’t seem like you’ve been talking to anybody about what happened. It’s not healthy.” Dorian reasoned with a sad sigh.

Her dark eyes flitted between the two boys, hating the worried looks they were giving her. She was hurting them again, she really could not do anything right! All Dani wanted was for the two most important people in her life to be happy, but she just kept ruining it. But… She could still fix this, right? A wobbly smile made its way back on her face, tears welling up in her eyes. 

Nico is pretty sure his heart just broke.

There was a vague ache in his chest, his hand coming to rub at it subconsciously. Dani didn’t deserve whatever pain she was going through right now. She hadn’t done anything wrong! He wished she would just talk to him about it! Keeping it all in never helps anything. But.. Daniela would never make him or Dorian upset on purpose, she was always trying to keep them happy without minding what that would mean for her. There was this thought niggling at the back of his mind; her face now was oddly reminiscent of years prior… Why had she made that face?

Oh. It was when she’d confessed to giving up magic. He was still tiny, and she was scared of hurting anyone else, so she pulled him aside on their camping trip. She gave up being a witch. What was she giving up now? 

He hadn’t even registered that he was moving until his arms were wrapped around her. Nico buried his face in Daniela’s (beautiful, kind, sweet, bubbly, hilarious, fantastic Daniela Wytte) soft, dark hair. The tears started right after that; not hers, of course, but his. Nico held her tight to his chest, one arm around her shoulders and the other around her waist. Dani’s hands clutched tight on his shirt, keeping him close. 

“Shh, it’s okay… It’s okay, Nico.” Comforting words spilled from her lips and straight into his heart, soothing the ache minutely. 

“No, you’re supposed to be the one crying…” The redhead muttered.

“You shouldn’t want to comfort me.” Dani whispered into his shirt, muffled words barely registering to him. 

“What?” Oh. Nico was mad.

“What did you say?” Dorian spoke from behind Nico, obviously hearing the change in tone.

“I didn’t-” She tried to deny futilely.

“Dani, I heard you! What do you mean I shouldn’t want to comfort you? What’s that supposed to mean!?” Dorian gaped from Nico’s rear, clearly not having a clue what she was talking about. Nico knew, though, grabbing Daniela by the shoulders and locking eyes with her. His gaze was intense, suffocating, but she couldn’t look away.

“I-” she choked out, fat tears pouring down her rosy cheeks, “I don’t deserve it! I hurt you!! Why can’t you just be mad at me!? _Why can’t you just hate me!!? I said terrible things to you, I hurt you so badly, but you stayed with me and you’re still here and you’re so nice to me and I don’t-_ I just don’t understand why…” She croaked, attempts at backing away thwarted by the large hands on her shoulders, grip tight and warm.

“I can’t sleep,” the troubled girl sobbed out, “I keep seeing you, and- and you try to b-be nice, but I just- I yell and accuse you of betraying me- and you were begging me to just react t-to anything, and I _hurt you!_ ” Nico’s hand fell to cup her elbows as hers grasped onto his forearms, a desperate attempt to keep herself standing. Out of the corner of her eye she spotted Dorian tearing up.

“Both of you, I keep hurting you. Even now. You guys keep having to chase after me and clean up my messes and it hurts you, but you still stay with me. I don’t- I don’t get it.” Her voice was soft, just but a whisper, but saturated with heartbreak and guilt. 

“And I don’t fit in my body… It’s so big and I’m so small and I-I’m lost. I’m not-not _right._ ” Dani sobbed harshly, her drop to the floor guided by Nico’s grip on her arms.

The two clung to each other as she wailed, Dorian coming to join in the sob-fest soon after.

Nico backed up minutely to look at Dani, her brother still latched on tightly. The redhead held her hands gently and gathered himself. 

“Dani.” He called softly, squeezing her hands reassuringly, “You deserve… The world! You’ve helped so many people, and you always put 110% into everything you do. I knew you weren’t yourself, and I care about you deeply. You would never harm anybody on purpose, much less one of your friends. So, yeah, of course I stayed by your side. I always will. Daniela Wytte, Dani, you are one of us. We would do anything for one of our friends, we’ll clean up any mess, fight any battle, climb any mountain, just to see you happy. That’s all I… That’s all we want for you, Dani. To be happy. You’re going to adjust to the new body, even if it takes some time. You just gotta be patient and trust us, okay?” 

“You’re my twin, Dani. We stick together. We have each other’s backs.” Dorian added, arms tightening around her.

Nico gathered Daniela in his arms again, mindful of Dorian’s grip on her. The boys finally relaxed for the first time in weeks, equally as comforted as their best girl. 

Everything would be okay.


End file.
